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How to Excel in the Bedroom, No Matter Your Size

Updated: May 23


In a world where the focus on physical appearance is amplified, it's easy to adapt to a belief that our body size directly correlates with our ability to perform in the bedroom. This belief couldn't be further from the truth. Sexual pleasure is about connection and intimacy, and it's not determined by the number on a scale or the inches of your most private parts.

Within your mindset about yourself lies the necessary tools to excel in the bedroom and to empower you to feel confident, sexy, and capable of experiencing mind-blowing sex. In this blog, I'll discuss everything from your thoughts about sex, to understanding you and your partner's bodies, to unlocking new positions and techniques, all while highlighting the importance of communication, consent, and self-care. Let's dive in.

Transform Your Sex-life With Your Thoughts

One of the biggest barriers to great sex is our thoughts about ourselves, often associated with body insecurities. It's easy to find ourselves believing that our bodies are not good enough, but this kind of thinking can seriously hinder our ability to enjoy sex.

Taking some time to both understand and accept your body is a huge first step in overcoming any insecurities you may have. Instead of focusing on what you dislike about your body, try shifting your mindset to what your body can do, and what you enjoy about your body.

Our bodies are incredible machines capable of experiencing pleasure and connection in a variety of ways. When you shift your focus to what your body can do and what you like about it, rather than what you don’t like, you may unleash a new world of sexual fulfillment and feel confident in your ability to perform.

Exploring an Intimate Bond With Yourself

I believe intimacy is something that can be best shared with others once we’ve explored it from within. Having a close relationship with yourself can better equip you to become close with someone else. One way to do this is by building self-confidence. Confidence is key when it comes to great sex, and the more self-assured you are in the bedroom, the more you can perform to a standard that suits you.

One of the best ways to build your confidence is through self-care and self-love practices. This can involve anything from taking a bubble bath to practicing positive affirmations. When practicing self-care and self-love, it's important to focus on what makes you feel centered. The more you prioritize connecting with yourself, the more confident you'll feel connecting with someone else in the bedroom.

Understanding Your Body and Your Partner's Body

The key to excelling in the bedroom is understanding your own body first, and then your partner's body. This means taking time to explore and experiment, both alone and with your partner. Masturbation is an incredible tool for self-discovery and can help you identify what feels good and what doesn't. It can also help you become more comfortable with your body and your sexuality. When masturbating, be open to exploring different ways of accomplishing an orgasm, as this can make you more comfortable with your body and understanding the limits of your own pleasure.

When exploring your partner's body, take time to ask questions and pay attention to their verbal and nonverbal cues. Everyone is different, and what feels good for one person may not for another. This is why it's important to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires, and be open to asking for what you want before guiding your partner in a certain direction.

It's also important to remember that sexual pleasure doesn't always have to be centered around traditional sex. There are many different types of intimacy that you may experiment with, and find what works best for you and your partner.

Communicating with Your Partner About Your Needs and Desires

Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Without communication, it's difficult to know what your partner wants and needs, and vice versa.

When communicating with your partner about your needs and desires, it's important to be clear and direct. Ask for what you want, and be open to hearing what your partner wants as well. Remember that everyone has different preferences and boundaries, and it's important to respect those.

If you're not sure how to bring up a certain topic, try starting the conversation with a question, such as "Have you ever tried…," or "What do you think about…?" Starting a conversation about your interests can open up the dialogue and make it easier to discuss sensitive topics.

Experimenting with New Positions and Techniques

One of the best ways to enhance your sex life is to experiment with new positions and techniques. This can involve trying different positions, such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl, or incorporating toys and props, such as vibrators or handcuffs.

When experimenting with new positions and techniques, it's important to communicate with your partner and make sure everyone is comfortable and consenting. Start slowly and work your way up to more adventurous activities. Remember that it's okay to say no to something that doesn't feel right for you.

Incorporating Toys and Props to Enhance Pleasure

Toys and props can be a great way to enhance pleasure and add a new level of excitement to your sex life. There are many different types of toys and props available, from vibrators and dildos to blindfolds and handcuffs.

When incorporating toys and props, it's important to communicate with your partner and make sure everyone is comfortable and consenting. You may want to start out with something simple, such as a vibrator, and work your way up to more advanced items. Remember that toys and props are meant to enhance pleasure, not replace it.

The Importance of Consent and Boundaries

Consent and boundaries are essential components of a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Consent means that everyone involved in a sexual activity has given enthusiastic and informed permission. Boundaries involve setting limits on what you are and aren't comfortable with.

When it comes to consent and boundaries, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Don't assume that they know what you want or don't want. Instead, have a conversation before engaging in any sexual activity and make sure everyone is on the same page. Remember that it's okay to say no to something that doesn't feel right for you, and it's important to respect your partner's boundaries as well.

Conclusion: Embracing Your Body and Enhancing Your Sex Life

Good sex is about self-exploration, connection, intimacy, and pleasure, and it's not determined by the size or shape of your body. By understanding and appreciating your body and your partner's body, you can unlock your full potential in the bedroom and embrace your body to the fullest. Remember that size doesn't matter, but confidence and connection do.

244 views5 comments


You are amazing - smart, and probably the most beautiful woman alive. ❤️ I'm so smitten.

Replying to

I did, thank you.


Terrific post. This is the sketch of a book. Tranforming sex through clearer thinking is a bold approach to the challenge finding satisfaction through physical intimacy connection. Well done!!!

Replying to

I’m so glad you enjoyed reading! I feel it’s important to take note of the importance of our thinking, and how it relates to our sexual wellness.

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